My spiritual journey started when I was in my thirties after some physical and mental health issues. The journey led to the shamanic way and into the spiritual world full of doubts and questions. With great fear I jumped into a totally new world. It has been a journey to my inner self.
If someone told me a few years ago, “go into the forest alone for three days without food and don’t move”, I would have thought this person was crazy! My fears wouldn’t have allowed me to stay alone in the woods. But it was time for me to leave my comfort zone and I was actually looking forward to the adventure.
Finally it was time! I packed my tent, water, a sleeping bag, and other necessities and off I went into the forest. Imagine, three days without food in a 6 meter (20 feet) circle which I wasn’t allowed to leave (except for using the wilderness toilette where dark woods awaited me).
The first evening was peaceful. I felt safe and enjoyed the seclusion and the sounds of the forest. The first whole day wasn’t eventful and I was a bit restless because nothing happened. Absolutely nothing! The only thing I noticed was that a few meters above my place, the sun was shining and I sat in the cold, damp darkness. I asked myself, “why do you sit here and don’t move to the sunny place?” Was I willing to overcome my inner boundaries, to let down my perfectionism and move to another place although it wasn’t allowed? I was expecting something more than these questions that did not seem important to me at that moment. No Spirit, no God or angel appeared, and no Merlin with his magic wand turned up and initiated me into the secrets of life. No enlightenment, no vision or hallucination. What a disappointment!
“Hm… you still have two days,” I thought and racked my brain what kind of shamanic herb will bring visions, what will I cook after my return home (these thoughts weren’t really helpful at that moment) and if I should move my tent to the sunny place or not. I decided to stay in the dark, damp cold place and went to sleep supposedly without having achieved anything. The second night was as peaceful as the first night.
Well… and then! It’s almost indescribable and difficult to find the words what happened the next morning. The first thing I realized was that I probably slept in a tick nest and needed to free myself from seven bloodthirsty monsters. These little vampires made me leave my circle and go to the sunny place. I sat on a small rock and went through an intense transformation process that lasted for hours and ended in tears of joy, warmth, light and sun.
I traveled through my life and was allowed to discover old traumas and issues to finally be released and celebrate the transformation. I was only a few meters separated from the sun, only a few meters between darkness and sunshine and yet for me it was the beginning of something completely new and great. These hours on top of the small rock brought me finally back to the beginning of my spiritual journey. The first message I received from the other world was, “be yourself!” At that time, I didn’t understand and got angry because of the encrypted message. But today and after so many years, I understand.
I am allowed to be the sensitive and delicate person I am. I don’t have to play roles or wear masks. I am allowed to show feelings, be angry, sad or happy. I am allowed to laugh and cry. I am allowed to show myself and let my light shine. The time of suffering and pain is finally over. Now it’s time to give my hand to others, to guide them – if they are willing – to their own light, their own sunny place and freedom.
And one more thing! Even black little ticks have their place in our world. They are helpful to free oneself of fears and see the light. Three days after my vision quest, I removed the last of 19 ticks from my body.
My vision quest was finished the second day and also my first long journey to my inner self. I found what I was searching for.
When we finally become aware that everything is interconnected and every living being on this earth deserves appreciation and respect, than life as we know it becomes so much simpler and more beautiful.
During my journey I discovered a new kind of music and singing. Because of my sensitivity the spirit world revealed to me that I have the ability to feel emotions and energies of people and places. I then sing their song in order to help heal old wounds. Music is an expression of the soul and was given to us to express ourselves, but it is also an important healing tool.
The biggest hindrance to truth and freedom is fear. It prevents us from questioning, and blinds us to the truth.
As I write these lines I am already on the next journey. Where this journey leads me to is still hidden behind veils, but now I am brave and I am looking forward to everything that’s yet to come.
From my own experience I know how illness, fears, and mental pain feel. I want to share these experiences and the gifts I have been given with others. I look forward to supporting you and accompany you on your path to personal freedom and health.